My coach took me through the inner freedom method where I accessed my subconscious to gain an understanding of why I wasn't doing things that I knew would benefit me. At one point in our discussion she said "it's pointless." My whole body resonated with this phrase. It's pointless to try for what I want because I won't get it. This is pretty strong stuff and I didn't know it was going on inside. In "Inner Freedom" language this is called the survival intention – an approach to the world that protected me when I was young but is now getting in my way.
As a coach writing in my blog I feel a bit vulnerable sharing this with you. At the same time I know I'm human too and it's important to me to share myself.
My coach and I played with the core intention – the intention that serves me as an adult. The current draft is "I can have what I want." However, this isn't quite it because there are other forces at work and I may not get what I want even if I put my best effort into it. Some still working on the wording.
Then we changed our focus to my current challenge of completing a three-hour project. I have been trying to do this for the past week and putting it off and putting it off. We talked over my planned activities for Sunday. These included having my niece come over to help me with home organization and talking with my friend via Skype. I coached looked at me, and they soon realized that I wouldn't finish my project if I included these 2 activities. So I decided to cancel them. It was a lot easier to do this than I expected. I then made a plan with my coach to spend 30 min. eating, take a 2 hour nap (I'd been up late the night before), and then work on the project for 3 hours.
I am writing after I finished my project. I followed the plan and the work just flowed. I now have a free evening!